These events of Father's Day transformed my mindset in an instant!
Having a sense of self-worth in every situation.
On June 16, 2024, we celebrated Eid Ul Adha in the Netherlands. It was also Father’s Day worldwide, which I had forgotten about as I focused on enjoying Eid with my family. We went to the mosque for Eid Prayer at 7 AM. The new mosque in Eindhoven, Moskee Arrahmaan, was spacious and blessed. After returning home and enjoying Eid with our family, I accidentally found Father’s Day wishes from my kids' school, reminding me of the day. This led me to contemplate what being a father means to me.
Subhanallah, the response was striking. As a father, I always think, 'What can I give to children?' but not, 'What do I get from them?' This was so profound to me. It made me ask: What would happen if I had this father's mindset in every situation?
Later that week, I had a job interview, and I approached it with the mindset of, "What can I contribute to this team, and what role can I fulfill?" This mindset significantly boosted my self-confidence and self-worth. I shifted my focus from myself to the people I met. I thought about the problems and how I could contribute to finding a solution. I also felt a strong connection with the interviewers.
Just imagine if we applied this mindset to our key relationships. When we look for the root cause of relationship issues, we often find that they start with the question, "What do I get from this relationship?" These minor concerns can grow into more significant conflicts over time.
Why is it a positive shift when we think about giving to others rather than getting from them? It is what we are created for!
Allay says to angels while creating humans (Quran 2:30), I am going to place in the earth a Khalifah (stewards). Stewardship is our responsibility to look after the resources given to us in this world and share them with creations in need.
Abdullah ibn Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of the people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family, and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children and is responsible for them. The servant of a man is a guardian of the property of his master, and he is responsible for it. Undoubtedly, every one of you is a shepherd responsible for his flock.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 7138, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1829
This is why we feel self-worth when we share the resources with others. That is our core purpose in this world for the sake of Allah.
Where do we get the resources from? From Allah, The ArRazaq (The provider) alone. As a steward, any resources coming to us are from Allah, and we are here to share them for the sake of Allah.
“Tapping into our real purpose of stewardship on earth will elevate our self-worth in any situation; we seek Allah's sustenance beautifully, share it for Allah's sake, and benefit from Allah's ultimate barakah in both worlds.”
Next time, in an interview, meeting someone you know or not, spending time with your significant relationships, playing sports with your friends, or encountering a stranger on the street, do the following:
1. When you enter a situation/meet a person, remind yourself of your identity and relation with Allah. (I am a steward on earth sent by Allah. I am here to give/share what I receive from Allah.)
2. Think about what I can give/share in this situation
3. Do it for the sake of Allah (High aspiring intention)
4. Feel the self-worth and self-confidence in any situation as the steward of Allah.
5. Feel the blessing from Allah in the event/day/life for your action.
I am wishing you a TaQwa-filled Friday. You can join us here at TaQwa Minds Community. May Allah bless you, stewards of this world!
With a lot of Duaás
Haneef